Category Archives: Miscellaneous
Human Relations – 2
Every one has 3-distinct personalities as follows …
1. What you think you are! This is in the “Emotional plane of existence”. You think you are a son, daughter, brother, sister, father, mother, friend, citizen of a country etc. This is the basic beingness –or- your own self identity. This is full of personal relationships. This has both positive and negative aspects to it. You can feel happy / unhappy with your having such good / bad relationships. You are so contented and / or even so proud of these good relationships – you feel you need to do nothing more in your life at all – leading to a “Thamasic” (lazy / inertia) way of living. You are either quite wanted or hardly wanted or not wanted by others – depending on your exhibiting positive or negative traits of emotional existence.
2. What others think you are! This is normally the “Material plane of existence”. Mostly people identify you by your physical body and looks (appearance such as … handsome – beautiful – normal – average – ugly), as also your ownerships and possessions of property such as – Estates & Land, Cars, Bungalows and Jewelry etc –OR- your position and power. Here your importance is attributed to your positions & possessions – not You! You are as great as your possessions are valued by others! This comes from havingness – ie- your own sense of ownership over material wealth and power and the influence you can project. This is the result of “Rajasic” (high energy low moral output) way of living. You are definitely wanted in most places – as “material” attracts commoners.
3. What actually You are! This is the “Action plane of existence”. This is the actual doingness. You are assessed and then perceived by others by seeing your demonstrative actions –ie- what you actually do, than what you materially possess or think of yourself. Your rational / irrational actions prove beyond any doubt what you actually are. Your actions will prove if you are a kind & compassionate person -OR- a psychotic & neurotic person. Your actions will prove whether you are creative & constructive –OR- purely destructive. When all your actions prove you to be a kind, compassionate, rational, constructive person – you are a “Satthvic” person. You are needed & wanted everywhere!
Human relations are multilateral permutations & combinations of the above stated factors 1-2-3. Most of the humans have all the 3-traits in varying proportions. Their relationships with others will vary accordingly.
Human Relations
What is a relationship? At the basic level, it is a “connection” by means of which some communication and exchange takes place. Generally, it is between two or more living entities. For example – it can be between two or more humans like friends & couples or between humans and animals – like a man and his dog.
The “connection” can be founded strongly in any of the 3-planes –viz- physical, mental or spiritual. The existence of any “connection” between individuals is seen by some direct flow of “energy” between or among them. These energy flows can be in many forms – through the 5-sensory perceptions (sight, sound, smell, taste & touch) coupled with some physical action associated with it. For example, the man pats and fondles his dog. The dog reciprocates by smelling & licking him.
The basic foundation for all expressions in a relationship is also through the 5-senses for even emotional and intellectual exchanges. After all, intelligence is nothing but the judicious application of the data perceived, collected though the 5-senses for one’s own personal use, survival & pleasure.
When the connection and the main expressions of communications are governed primarily by physicality only – it is considered ordinary, normal or basic. This kind of relationship mostly exists among the plants & animals – or between humans with plants and animals. Can there be communication between humans and plants? Yes! Seeding, watering, growing, tending and harvesting is all part of human side of communication – while giving flowers, fruits and grains etc is part of plant side of communication. The relationship becomes so simple with animals and plants – as the basis is more physical than anything else – and also because what to give and what to expect back in the exchange are very clear on both sides in the beginning and end … always.
Relationship between or among humans gets very complicated because it is not free flowing exchange of simple material products – but gets into rigid definitions and conditionalities. Human relations get governed more by what we know and call to be “feelings” which are non physical. What is given and expected back are not fixed nor pre-defined – like with plants and animals. They are not fixed either qualitatively or quantitatively. The variations can be between zero to infinity. This realm is more mental than physical –ie- emotional & intellectual.
Human relationship is governed by three fundamental factors … ARC … Affinity – Reality – Communication. Communication creates common realities. Common realities create affinity. Affinity is the degree of liking – ie- the desire for proximity, both physical and mental. Thus ARC represents what we generally call “Understanding”. Higher the ARC – higher will be the understanding … stronger will be the relationship and bond.
Naari – The Woman of India
Where women are respected, honored and venerated – gods will dance in ecstasy! Where women are subjugated, insulted and ill treated – gods will vacate that place, nothing will prosper there – only misery and sorrow will prevail – that place will never have peace or happiness! This is the extract from Manusmruthi – the ancient Indian ethical & moral code book of culture.
How true it is even today! – if only if we open our eyes and take an unbiased look! The present and recent past generations of humanity may have taken objection to many tenets of Manusmruthi and argued about their irrelevance to the needs of the time – but no one can deny the fact that there are eternal principles in the order of creation and nature that continue to prevail timelessly. These principles remain “changeless laws” in the midst of all changes! Out dependence on gravity to stay on earth did not change – our dependence on Sun for energy did not change – our dependence on rains for food did not change … and these will never change – no matter how wildly different the Sci-Fi projections about the future of human survival and behaviour.
Despite all the impressive and concurrent technological progress in diverse fields of science & technology – ethical & moral degeneration of mankind witnessed in the modern times has not allowed the benefits of that material progress to contribute to life and provide happiness & peace to the mankind. The starvation for peace & happiness continues and is more rapidly & widely growing than the material prosperity. Why? Read the rest of this entry
Friendship
In friendship an ‘openness’ of each to the other is found that can be seen as an enlargement of the self. A good friendly person is related to his friend the same way he is related to himself. He / She considers the friend as another “self” or extension of “self”. Friendship therefore opens the door to an escape from “egoism” or “belief” that the rational course of action is always to pursue one’s own self-interest. It is notable that friendship requires sentiments. Sentimentality is not always rational – but forms an essential foundation of friendship. It is a purely personal matter, requiring virtue, yet which runs counter to the universalistic requirement of impartial treatment of all. Friend is someone who is treated differently from all others always. An outstanding example for this is found in Mahabharatha – the friendship between Karna & Duryodhana!
Values that are found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following traits on a consistent basis:
- The tendency to desire what is best for the other!
- Sympathy & Empathy!
- Honesty – perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth – especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart.
- Mutual understanding!
- Mutual compassion!
One problem is to reconcile these apparently diverse and occasionally conflicting requirements. Mishandling this may cause either temporary or lasting strain in relationships. But one irrefutable element in friendship is – you can talk “neutral nonsense” freely – without the fear of being seriously judged. It gives lot of freedom to be occasionally stupid – which is a release from stress! Friendship is easier to repair when spoiled, than all other relationships, as forgiveness is in-built into it.
MSR Ayyangar's Blog 